EVERYBODY WEARS A UNIFORM.

   "Well hello there George, long time no see, not since the Government Enquiry at least"
   "Quite correct Peter, could have done without that piece of nonsense"
   "We weathered the storm George, we weathered the storm. Still it comes with the territory George, any changes then?
   "You?
   "Same amount as yourself George"
   "Not much then. Have you got a runner today?
   "I have Peter, love your suit, tweed? of course it is, silly me, cost?
   "You do not want to know George.
   "I do, I do.
   "Three thou. George.
   "Nice one Peter.
   "And yours?
   "A little bit more Peter.
   "So?
   "Four thousand ,my friend.
   "Good for you .
   "Is it a Coco?
   "No, no,George, its a Charlie Cairoli. and yours?
   "Le Clown Gordoon.
    "I do love a good suit George, have you by any chance heard, the weavers want more money?
    Good God Peter, don't we all? anyway why, they get more than enough as it is.
   "Something about feeding their children.
   "Haggis gone up in price then?
    "Swiveleyed looms,do you get it George, looms?
   "Nice one Peter, are you working tomorrow?
   "Well I'm going into the bank,don't know yet what time, have to wait and see how Customercomesfirst, comes in.
   "COME ON, Customercomesfirst, COME ON!
    

HORSES FOR THREE COURSE MEAL COURSES!

THE COMMOMS.1913   10 JUNE. Even after 100 years nothing changes

Worn-out horses(export)
MR LONG asked the President of the Board of Trade if his attention had been called to the condition still prevailing in the trade of decrepit horses consigned to Antwerp and other foreign ports; and what steps he proposes to take to ensure that the Diseases of Animals Act shall be strictly carried out and that the examination of  horses should be more carefully conducted?
MR RUNCIMAN:  The condition under which horses are exported to foreign countries are kept constantly  under review by the Board and their officers. All complaints are carefully investigated and the information of the Board is that the provisions of the act are strictly enforced and the horses are thoroughly examined before shipment. If the right hon. gentleman can supply me with evidence to the contrary, I will enquire into it.
MR KILBRIDE: Can the right hon. Gentleman say whether decrepit horses are, after a short time returned to this country , and whether they come back in  the shape of sausages or tinned meat?
MR C BATHURST: Is the right hon. Gentleman aware that the local authorities in these Eastern ports have a vested interest in the continuance of this objectionable traffic,and that, therefore, it more than ever requires the supervision of his Department?
MR RUNCIMAN: The inspectors of the Board of Agriculture inspect the horses which are sent abroad  and also the vessels in which they travel, quite irrespective of local interests, which tend to complicate the matter.
Sir W. Byles: May I be allowed to supply the right hon. Gentleman with the evidence of eye-witnesses?

THE CORONATION CUP FINAL.(but its not about football)

Lets start with the facts and get them out of the way. To celebrate the Coronation of Queen Elizabeth II a football tournament was instigated between the 4 top English clubs and the 4 top Scottish clubs, the winners to keep the trophy for all time.
The final game was held in Glasgow at Hampden park. Celtic versus Hibernian.The final score was Celtic 2, Hibs 0. The official attendance figure was, 117,000. ( I would take that number with a large pinch of salt!) The date of the final was May20. 1953.
    I was 12 years of age.All my life I have tried to remember the events leading up to that fateful day. I cannot remember anybody telling me, asking me, conversing with me at home, before or for that matter after the match.I very vaguely see a youngish smiling face if I try really hard to remember,one glimpse is all I have, a neighbour or a family friend? and then the crowds at the railway station, Peffer Place?
Lots and lots of people. Then there was the train and still the crowds.Did I stand or was I seated? Was anyone with me? The next thing I remember is arriving at  the head of a queue, I was alone, I didn't have a ticket. I was lifted over the turnstile and I was inside the ground.
   The match?, I have no idea. none whatsoever. The people, the noise, the crush.Often, for minutes at a time my feet left the ground, I was held in the grip of the crowd, moving forward when they moved forward and backwards when they reversed.I could not touch the ground,terra firma where are you? We swayed, all of us.no one seemed worried,but I had a sense of dread, a sense of wonder for such a young person.Even then I had questions, not about myself but, for the people in the crowd, faces without names,smiling,laughing shouting.Individuals, or were they? Then and now I still have the same questions ,what is it that makes a football crowd.Why? Why what? Why are they there,are they there as individuals, do they feel the warmth of the crowd, it can be cold, it can rain.They have paid good money to be there.I have been informed that the price the crowds pay nowadays to get into football matches is verging on the extortionate.They still pay though, even if it is through the nose.
Looking back to when I was young I think the crowd had no sense of being manipulated. They were told to move here, there , pay your money , don't ask questions.who are you? stand on the terraces,cheer on those guys in green, in red, in yellow, any colour in the rainbow,does the colour mean anything to you and yours, move here, move there,stand still. Pay your money, we want your money,and for that money you and your fellows can stand in the cold and cheer on,what? footballers, rugby, cricket, baseball, basketball, you name it , boxers,charioteers and gladiators.All we want is your money.
 Eventually the football match finished,it was getting dark and I found myself outside, I walked with the crowd, I stopped and wept.I was alone, I was alone in a crowd. A man stopped and spoke to me, I remember his face, he was smartly dressed. He must have taken me with him onto the train. The train eventually arrived back to the Craigmillar and Duddingston Railway Station. My companion was a policeman, a detective, and he took me to the Craigmillar police station. The last thing I remember was a cup of cocoa. One thing that I have never forgotten is his face and his kindness.
 There are many people like myself who do not go to big football matches.Speaking for myself I think it is because I do not like to be manipulated. I do not like to be part of  an unthinking huge beast.A beast with very little heart and no sense of thought. Mindless and terrifying in its lack of self  control .The majority of spectators ,as individuals I have found them to be intelligent and articulate . They are ordinary people with the hopes and desires of ordinary people.They come from all walks of life,labourers rub shoulders with managers, shopkeepers speak to tramdrivers,coalminers laugh and joke with bankers.
   Since that time in 1953 I have never ever been to a large football match. I will watch the football on the TV. when I am with old army comrades in the pub, and I enjoy it. When I take the kids to the local park, I ,every now and again will watch for a few minutes the local amateur sides playing against each other.
 I have nothing against people playing and watching football. Good luck to them,but what I am against is the manipulation for gain by ,(and this has been going on since Adam was a boy) rogues who call themselves businessmen. People dressed in suits who without a thought for the ordinary man in the street are willing for profits sake to pack him and his fellows like sardines into unsafe environments to watch, in a heck of a lot of cases men dressed in religious colours knocking seven bells out of each other.
   I did not really give much thought to what I have just written  but  I think it must have been in the back of my mind for a long,long time. I do not feel any better for writing it.Looking back, I think I realised and for someone of such a young age it surprises me that I was able to understand better than the majority of the adults around me the stupidity of crowds and the iniquities that are  perpetrated against us all.

Scotland, This Land of Ours.

'This land of ours,' how often have we heard those words? This land of ours, how often, since when? All our lives, since we were very young. We grew up with those words ringing in our ears, but what do the words actually mean, do we and our fellows stand on  high ground and take ownership of all that our eyes can perceive? Do we stand on the mountain top and plant our flag? Do we, in our minds eye take unto ourselves all that is Scotland?
The factors that have influenced our way of thinking are the obvious ones, films, TV, newspapers,books fact or fiction, past and present on all things Scottish.
But, and I emphasize that word, but how many of us who live in the Central Belt have seen  at firsthand the Highlands and Islands, the cities  and towns of the North. Have we been to the Borders? Do we even know the people who live in our neighbouring town or city? These words apply to most of us, and this is true for all the peoples of the world.
This land of ours, as you can see there is a link that joins us all together . We believe that this is our land, ours and only ours.
Being Scottish entails what? Well, first things first,  it helps to be born in Scotland, this is basic but it is not the only criteria. In the  world  we live in, people from many lands,past and present, have come ,and for whatever their reason settled in Scotland, and they and theirs are most welcome. Gradually over the years they may have  started thinking of themselves as part Scottish, more so their children and of course their children, who are born in Scotland will be Scottish.
  There are many people in Scotland like myself who are proud of being Scottish even although my father was English, my maternal grandmother was born in Ulster and arrived on these shores when she was but three years of age.All on my mothers side of the family, my aunt and uncles, considered themselves to be Scottish,just as I do.My father who lived in Scotland for all of fifty years was always a Yorkshireman. and he was immensely proud of that fact.
   What I am trying to say,(and you may think ,not very well) is that we in Scotland are a very diverse peoples, hard working, willing to give a helping hand to those in need, honest, goodlooking, independent in thought and deed, but more to the point believing that this land is indeed our land! and shall be forevermore.

THE CAT AND FLOGGINGS, ERRANT HUSBANDS NO LESS!

CRIMINAL LAW AMENDMENT ACT. HOUSE of COMMONS. 24 march 1913.

MR RAWLINSON  asked the Secretary of State for the Home Department. how many sentences involving the infliction of the cat have been passed on convictions under the recent Criminal Law Amendment Act ; how many of such convictions were in cases of complaints by wives against husbands; and how many of such convictions or sentences have been reversed on appeal?
The SECRETARY OF STATE for the HOME DEPARTMENT (Mr McKenna)
I have no complete information on the subject. Convictions under this Act or on any other Act are not reported as they occur to the Home Office ;and full returns  are not available until the end of the year when the Annual Judicial Statistics are compiled. I find on enquiry that in the London prisons one sentence of whipping under the new Act has been carried out.
Mr RAWLINSON; are not floggings ordered reported to the Home Office, including the one set aside last week?
Mr McKenna; No, the floggings which take place in prisons are all reported to the Home Office, but not floggings which take place under the orders of the Court.
Sir W. Byles; Can the right hon. Gentleman say how many of these sentences are upon procurers , and
whether the special object of passing the Act was not to get at that class of offenders?
Mr McKenna ; Perhaps my hon. Friend will give me notice of that question.

ITS ONLY AN IDEA. EDINBURGH ZOO IS IDEAL FOR A GREAT DAY OUT.

You and your family fancy a great day out? Why not visit Edinburgh Zoo, or to give it  its Sunday name, The Royal Zoological Society of Scotland.
Fantastic animals and birds and reptiles. Here's a list, Giant Panda's, Penguins,Monkeys, Wild dogs, Apes, Koala's, Meercats, Sunbears,  Flamingo's and plenty, plenty more!
Not only is there lots  to see there is also  lots of playing areas for the kids (that will drain some of the excess energy out of them) You betcha!
Would like something to eat?  Restaurant and Café. near the Penguins, or if you prefer, bring you own picnic.
The weather is changing, now's the time. If you've never been, try it, never thought about it, think now ,do it.  You will be glad you did.
A  City Link bus,coming into Edinburgh from the Newbridge Roundabout travels past ,on the left The Royal Highland Showground, the Edinburgh Airport, further on,on your  right The Royal Bank of Scotland World Headquarters, Don't laugh,please, carry on a hundred yards or so, the Tram Depot, Don't laugh, please, carrying on into Corstorphine, through the same, less than five minutes, stops right outside the Zoo.Up the steps in front of you . No Problemo! Have a nice day!

HOUSE OF COMMONS 1913 MARCH 26.FOOD ADULTERATION.

VARIATIONS ON A FAMILIAR THEME. They are still at it 100 hundred years on.
NEIGH! NEIGH!
OH YES! OH YES!

SIR JOHN LONSDALE asked the President of the Local Government Board if he intends to introduce legislation in the present Session to prevent the adulteration of flour?
Mr Peto asked the President of the Local Government Board whether he intends to introduce a Bill in the present session to insure the purity of flour used in this country and to render illegal the use of phosphates and bleaching to secure whiteness?
Mr Burns, I have a Bill in preparation dealing with the question of the purity of food, and I hope to introduce it shortly.
Sir J Lonsdale, Will it deal with the adulteration of flour?
Mr Burns, It will include flour.
Sir J Lonsdale , When does the right hon.Gentleman  expect to introduce it?
Mr Burns, When one gets an opportunity.

HOUSE OF COMMONS 17MARCH 1913. (TITANIC, COMMANDER ROSTRON.)

LOSS OF STEAMSHIP "TITANIC" (Services of Commander Rostron)

Mr Peto asked the President of the Board Of Trade whether he is aware that, in recognition of the services rendered by Commander A,H, Rostron, R.D,  R.N.R. of the Cunard steamship"Carpathia", in rescuing the survivors of the "Titanic" disaster, Commander Rostron has received at the hands of the President of the United States of America the gold Congress medal especially struck in his honour and inscribed that it is awarded with the thanks of the United States Congress; whether he is aware that Commander Rostron  has also received the American cross of honour; and whether it is the intention of his Majesty's Government to supplement in some similar way the tribute of thanks paid to Commander Rostron by the Prime Minister in this House?

Mr Buxton: I am aware that Commander Rostron has received recognition  in various forms of the valuable and meritorious services he rendered in rescuing the survivors of  the Titanic"disaster. As stated by the Prime Minister the tribute paid to Commander Rostron by His Majesty's Government was the highest in their power, and I do not think it can be supplemented.

DEMENTIA, ALZHEIMERS.THERE IS A NEED FOR US TO DO MORE.

It has been reported that Prime Minister, David Cameron is determined to use Britain's presidency of the G8 group of leading industrialised nations to be in the forefront of a new international drive to boost research into dementia.
There are estimated to be in the UK around  800,000.people suffering from dementia. That number expected to double by the year 2040.
In Scotland ,in the year 2010 there were 71,000 sufferers. In the year 2031 that figure will rise to,127,000.
Dementia is a huge problem,not just for the sufferers themselves but also for the people who care for them whether in their own home, care homes, or in hospital.
We all must help, that is a given .How can we help, that is the question? In the scheme of things there is a likelihood that, no matter how small, you may succumb to the disease, or maybe a member of your immediate family, your extended family, or even a friend, someone you recognise in the street.
What can we as individuals do?
Why not join your local Alzheimers Society. There are branches all over country. National services, helplines. welfare rights services, fundraising and many more. Someone, whether you,or any member of the above named should join , wear the badge, answer the questions or point those that ask, in the right direction.
From the internet I will give you the address and telephone number of the national Alzheimer's Society pertaining to your area.
Alzheimer's Society,central office, Devon House.
58 St.Katherine's Way.  London.
020 7423 3500

Northern Ireland.
Unit4 Balmoral Business Park. Boucher Cres.
Belfast.
028 90664100


Alzheimer Scotland
22 Drumsheugh Gardens, Edinburgh EH3 7RN
0131 243 1453

PARLIAMENTARY DEBATES.COMMONS 1913 .13MARCH.

                 WELSH PEOPLE (CANADA)
Colonel Pryce-Jones asked the Secretary of State for the Colonies if he can give information or will have inquiries made as to the Welsh people in Canada on the following points: there number according to the last Dominion Census; the districts or localities in which such are generally or specifically located, and the number of men, women,and children, respectively, of Welsh nationality in each of such districts or localities;the respective employments in which people in Canada are engaged; and any financial and other statistics,showing the progress,material and otherwise,of Welsh people generally in Canada?

The Office Of Notary Public.

   

 

             T I T. V1

Of  the attaining poffeffion by tradition or delivery, and of the feveral fymbols requifite therein.

Symbolical tradition, by the giving of  earth of the lands, feems to have been ufed in the eight century , as may be learned from the following remarkable ftory.  When the Normans (whether Sigefredus or Rollo was their commander is uncertain) arrived at the coaft of  Neuftria, that they might have the pretence of fome injury done them, to wage war againft the inhabitants, they fent a young ftripling afhore, adorned with a golden chain; not queftioning but thofe who firft encountered him would feize upon it, which they earneftly wifhed. The ftripling being afked by the inhabitants,if he would fell or barter the chain? anfwered, he would. They having again afked him,What price he would have? he told them, he would take what price they pleafed. The inhabitants,fmiling at his fimplicity, took the chain from him, and ,as the price thereof, gave him a handful of duft from the ground. But that joke coft them dear:for the ftripling returning to his countrymen,and having told them what had happened,they immediately landed their forces, and took poffeffion of the country.The inhabitants afking by what law they did that, they anfered, by the beft and jufteft of all laws: a young ftripling of theirs had been publicly infeft in thefe lands, by the delivery of earth, as the accuftomed fymbol; and that not without paying for them;therefore they took poffeffion of their own lands, acquired by law, and not by war.

An excerpt  taken from. THE OFFICE OF A NOTARY -PUBLIC.   1792

The Story Of Carrier One. cont.

I will finish my broadcast in a few minutes. I have been speaking to you here, in Britain and to most of the countries of the world, my words  translated in to various languages with the invaluable help of the BBC. for which I give my thanks. The message I give is of the utmost importance.All  peoples should hear what I have to say. The old order of the world may change, we can only wait and see but we ,that is governments , and all of us together must be ready for the change.
       There was slightly cold breeze blowing when John Sultain left the BBC. Ted McMerry came up behind him,"OK? he said, falling into step alongside.
"Sure ,he turned towards him,'you look worried, problem?"
"Maybe, do you think it was a good idea to mention, what fate befell Phillipo or whatever his name is?
"He will have been eaten by now, where he is, nothing that ventures onto that island lives for very long."
The Government will want to know, as will the Italian Government, and probably the childs mother. It was a mistake, you cannot take the law into your own hands.
  "When it comes to the Carriers , I am the law,people better get used to that idea.
  "Do you want to go for a drink?
   " Sounds like a great idea, just what I need.
  "Here's as good as any.
   "The Wilberforce?
  "God knows, but its handy when you've  finished a shift at the Beeb.
    "Cheers,
    "This may not have been a good idea, the clientele are starting to catch on.
  "Lets go then.I've finished my coffee.
   "Where?
    "Stand up, take my arm.
     "Christ! where are we?
     "My home, come meet the family, in here, I will go first. Hi you all, lovely, I've brought a guest  his name is Ted.
       "John thank goodness , It went well, put me down. Love you . Our other guest, the Italian gent is not very pleased.
    McMerry , with a quizzical look on his face turned to John Sultain his eyebrows raised.
   "Yeah its him, he's not dead, he should be but I will hand him over to the authorities ,soonest ,tonight in fact.

Whats For Tea?

You are very quiet, whats the matter,bamboo ok?
"Yes thank you, do you think outsiders mess with us when we are asleep?
"Outsiders?"
"Yes , people in white coats,allowed in to mess with us?
"Mess with us?"
"Yes , you heard me"
"Alright ,whats up?
"I don't know, I cannot fathom it. I feel as if I've been messed with and I cannot get the image of white coats out of my head. What can it beeee?
"I don't Knowwww! When last night?
"Don't think so, a week or two maybe."
"And your telling me now, I mean this is serious. Humans are a funny lot, and I don't mean funny Ha, Ha! Funny as in queer and when I say queer I don't mean,that way inclined"
"What way?"
"That way"
"Once again you have lost me"
"Sorry"
"Change of subject, do you understand the ins and outs of the procedures that begets cubs?
"No"
"Neither do I but I am left wondering, increased activity, hot flushes,sweating, funny noises, sighing, hand wringing, shuffling,lying down and immediately rising up again, wandering around making funny noises, lying down again.When do you think the Keepers are going to give it a rest, you know the ones I mean?
"Don't know, don't care what the Keepers get up to in their spare time.Lets get back to you again."
"Oh, forget me, its probably nothing anyway. Whats for tea?
"Bamboo.
"Good.

A PANDAS CONCEPT OF FREEDOM.

"Do you like it here?asked TT. (that came right out of the blue.) she was looking at me with a glint in her eye.
"I think so" I replied tentatively.
"Think? you either do or you don't. Do you not realise we cannot step outside the front door. The penguins have more freedom than us.
"Freedom is a generalized idea or notion, I said.
TT. asked me if I would like another black eye.
I like it here,its warm ,cosy in fact.We get more than enough to eat,drink, I like water, anyway what has brought all this on?
Its in the air.
Whatever do you mean, its in the air? I cannot smell anything.
"No, no, its a feeling I get when I observe all those people looking in on us. They are free.
"Not all of them surely?
"We are in here, they are out there. They can come and go as they please.
"I feel safe in here. Its like being in a warm cocoon.
"Is that all you want out of life, to be safe, let others make decisions for you?
"No need to shout TT.,its a big world out there."
"Me, TT. I do not want to be confined, shackled."                                                                           
"Shackled?
"I'm speaking metaphysically.I crave the wide open spaces.(wherever did she get that from?most probably from the penguins, they can be quite Bolshie sometimes) I want to be mistress of my own destiny. Do you ever look, really look at the humans on the other side of the glass. Basically there are two kinds, people from far away lands, temporary free and glad of it.Then there are the others, indigenous peoples from this very land that we are inhabiting at this moment in time and with whom  I think we have common cause."
"Explain".
"I think that the humans that I identify with  want the same as me"
What?
"I don't know , I cannot put it into words, but I know there is something there."
"TT. being completely honest I have not got a clue what you are on about.Not a clue, hold on , hold on there, you've been conversing with the Semimonkey, yes you have ,yes?
"I have , but he doesn't influence me in the slightest. He talks, I sometimes listen".
"Oh'yes, what would you do if the Keepers opened the gates and allowed you  to make your own way in the world?"
"You would come with me, wouldn't you?
"Sure stepping into the great unknown, that would be  lovely. Where would we live, how would we keep ourselves. Its cold outside, you know?"
"The Semimonkey intimated to me that we could easily take care of all our expenses, through diligence and employing the services of a financial advisor. We would purchase a large park ,with trees and an orchard and a swimming pool and a home cinema"
"Home cinema?"
"OK. TV.room" People would pay good money to see us in our natural surroundings. I'm sure we could make a success of it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.Plus remember what befell Little Timmy"
How could I possibly forget"
The same fate could happen to us, as well you know."
"Yes,Yes and that is a good reason why  we should try and negotiate our freedom.
"We would have to pay our Masters, those that live on the banks of The Yellow River, the same people that frighten the poor people of Tibet."
"How sad it all is TT.is there any hope for us?
"We can only use our very best endeavours and the insightfulness of the Semimonkey.

Glasgow Rangers Football Club.

Glasgow Rangers, you could not make it up!  Well maybe, lets say you were able to employ the epic talents of Count Leo Tolstoy, he of 'War and Peace' fame, The Brothers Grimm, fairy tales.Mario Puzo's The Godfather, or should that be in the plural, Godfathers?  EL James,Fifty shades of any colour that takes your fancy. And how about,A Confederacy of Dunces. by John Kennedy Toole? A very funny book and the title is so very apt. So you see,you can make it up, you just need the proper tools and an audience that keeps coming back for more.

Weddings at Edinburgh Zoo.

FANTASTIC! Did you know , you can get married in Edinburgh Zoo and hold your reception there as well. Great venue, I was a guest there on Sat.4th May. The bride was looking absolutely beautiful and the bridegroom, ruggedly handsome. The perfect couple.  The Mansion House is where it all happens, the actual wedding ceremony, reception and in the evening dancing and singing. The staff were all well turned out, helpful and cheerful.Great views over Edinburgh from the vantage point of the Mansion House. Just think in later years when your children ask you,"mum, why did you and dad get married in a zoo?" you can answer, "Have you had a good look at your dad lately? it just seemed appropriate".

One Hundred Years Ago. Nothing Changes.Railways Bill.

House of Commons.(march 1913 railways(no.2) Bill. Mr Keir Hardie,"What right has this House to assume that the increasing of wages is going to add to the cost of working the railways? Take for example the tramway systems of Glasgow, Manchester, Liverpool and London, and it can be shown that just as the rates of pay to the men increase and the working day is reduced, so do the profits increase. That is the outcome of actual experience. Low paid men cannot be expected to give good work. Men who are getting 15s,16s,or 17s a week have not the stamina to give good work, and they have not the spirit.Besides, the railway companies have already taken good care to recoup themselves for any increase in expenditure. Excursion rates are being raised, and the season tickets have gone up. The size of trains is being increased and altogether railway companies, partly by increased fares,partly by more efficient management and partly by co-ordination in connection with working arrangements which result in avoiding competition and also the running of four trains at the same time covering the same area, are, I believe recouping themselves for any increase caused by improved conditions of the men. Therefore the alleged case for this Bill entirely fails.

Ukip.

little timmy and the cruelty inflicted by those who should know better.

Some very bad news today, the semimonkey(he's our conduit between ourselves and the outside world) he said that a lizard who had just arrived from Berlin Zoo told him a story that had its beginnings in our   homeland via two other zoos,Beijing and Leipzig. When TT. and I left our beautiful  paradise we departed alone,just the two of us, we wanted to bring Little Timmy with us, Little Timmy is,was, TT.'s cousin twice removed, he was small for his age and he had a gammy leg, he found it difficult to walk. Oft-times it was necessary for one of us or both of us to help him in his day-to-day endeavours.We would sit him down comfortably and choose for him some nice bamboo. We were more than happy to help him,he always, no matter what, had a smile on his lovely face.   When we were forcible removed,(sorry, Politely requested to enter our cage, Sorry, our Panda Luxurious Travel Compartment) we tried our very best to drag Little Timmy in with us, but it was not to be. That was the first time we ever saw Little Timmy with a sad face. The story that the lizard conveyed to the semimonkey was horrid in the extreme but knowing our erstwhile keepers perfectly feasible.A few months after TT. and I had departed for climes unknown, Little Timmy had been,as you say in your country, put down.He was then skinned, scrunched up and his body placed in a vat of boiling water.After six hours simmering, the liquid that was Little Timmy was drained off  into 1,500 glass phials.Three strands ,two black,one white of Little Timmys fur were fixed by tape to every phial. Initially,50 phials were sold as a cure for the common cold to some very rich people who were suffering. After ten days or so, all the recipients were cured, word spread like wildfire and the rest of the medicine? was sold at exhorbitant prices to the naïve natives.The whole sorry tale tells much about  the people who inhabit that diverse land.

A visit from a Parisian?

TT.is not her usual self, a little bit down, maybe something she has eaten, Trump! Trump! could it be, maybe, is it possible, a little bit of bad bamboo? Trump! Trump! Yesterday I intimated that our bamboo was sourced from Ireland, silly me, after all how could bamboo possibly be cultivated in a country with such a climate. No, our bamboo is grown and harvested in or near Amsterdam in the Netherlands.This piece of info,and a good telling off , was conveyed to me this morning by the semimonkey. Point taken, I stand corrected.Anyway, back to the present.I'm a little bit worried, we had a visitor yesterday evening, all of a sudden she was there, white coat,pen in one hand, notebook in the other. She looked very different from our usual visitors.They are always, without exception happy and smiling,exclaiming,Ooh! and Ahh! and other expressions of joy.Whilst her,our visitor in the white coat had on her pale face a very sad expression, how unusual. She never,at any time looked either of us in the eye. She raised the hand holding the notebook above her head and motioned TT. to do the same with her paw.TT. either did not understand or because she had a sore shoulder,the damp weather maybe, she could not or did not do what she was asked to do. Our visitor wrote something in her notebook.I caught a glimpse of the logo on the front of her notebook, only a glimpse mind you, I could be wrong but I think it read, ATOSSAR. ,most likely some sort of Government Dept.More for us to worry about!                                                                                                                                               

A Panda's life on a daily basis.

A Panda's life,Giant or otherwise is not an easy one, I know,I know, people think it is, we just sit around snacking on bamboo and looking cute,but let me tell you this. We,that is T.T. and I have a lot to contend with. Take bamboo for instance, don't get me wrong, bamboo is excellent but I personally would like to try a few different flavours,cheese and onion,salt and vinegar,prawn cocktail, I can smell them on the breeze, it tends to drive me daft. TT. worries a lot about anything and everything.Is it really, truly bamboo? she asks me,do you think they put things in it, they get it from Ireland you know.Well as far as I'm concerned ,I said, if it looks like bamboo, tastes like bamboo,it is bamboo and with that I bit off a huge chunk just to reassure her.She was on about something else last night, would not give it a rest, on and on and on. Something to do with accommodation. We've got plenty of space she said, and a spare room.Do you think we may have to relocate, will they cut our bamboo ration? What I would like know is, how is a guy supposed to perform when all this is going on, anyway not my fault,say no more .Look, I told her,"they won't move us, where would we go,.anyway we've got "Special needs".