FRASER








 









 

 

 

 

 

cartoooons

 

 

 

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RANGERS FOOTBALL CLUB

BBC. 22AUG 2013. RANGERS. ALLY McCOIST HAPPY TO SELECT IAN BLACK.

Rangers manager says he has no problem selecting Ian Black despite allegations that the midfielder broke betting rules.
The Rangers manager has called for the governing body, the players union and betting companies to clearly set out  the events, which players can place bets on, after his player ,Ian Black was hit with a Scottish FA. charge.
Mr McCoist clutching a thick bundle of papers in which he claimed were the names of officials and players that he knew liked to gamble on footers .Addressing the media 21Aug. He held the papers close to his chest, very close, no one but no one was being allowed,even to glimpse the names of the erstwhile gamblers .
It did remind one of Joe Chamberlain returning from Munich, although Joe did allow us to view his precious docs. Come on Ally, take a leaf out of Mr Chamberlains book and show us the evidence.

I found it very difficult to believe the machinations of Mr McCoist, so difficult in fact I just had to put pen to paper. My letter was published in the Scotland on Sunday newspaper IstSept.2013

A SAFE BET THEY KNOW THE RULES

Regarding Ally McCoist requesting that the SFA explain to the Rangers players the rules regarding betting on the outcome of matches, especially those matches that they are actually playing in. I can see Mr McCoist's point, but if any of his players really need it spelt out to them they should for their own safety be taught that, when crossing the road , one should look left,look right, look left again.

 

"It's fantastic being here Tom, a small club like us.We're not your Arsenals,your Coventry Cities, your Millwalls,your Liverpools,your Chelseas,your..........,Blackburn Rovers,your........Birminghams, your..........your Leeds, your.......

"You missed Stenhousemuir Frank."

"Yey that's right Tom, your Stenhousemuirs, your East Fifes, your...........

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MAIR CARTOONS

"I'M YOUR NEW PRISON VISITOR,WHAT YOU IN FOR?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'M ONE OF THE DISNEY SEVEN, WE WUZ FRAMED!"

 

 

 

M

FF

SOME MORE CARTOONS

MARTIN LUTHER KING Jnr.

AUG. 1963 , 50 years ago.  "We cannot walk alone
                                               and as we walk,we
                                                must make the pledge
                                                 that we shall always
                                                 march ahead.
                                                 We cannot turn back
                                                 I HAVE A DREAM.

            For the life of me I cannot remember what this was all about!

EAGLESEA

L

CARTOONS,

CARTOONS ,IN THE BEGINNING.

 

                                       

A few weeks ago whilst looking for

something in the loft I came across a couple of folders. I had not looked at the contents for a very long time. Cartoons,some of them finished,most in the process, or just ideas on paper. Some of the cartoons made me laugh so I thought of you. Incidentally,in amongst the papers were a few rejection slips,Ian Hislop, Steve Way, and Michael Heath to mention just a few, thanks guys! What I'm now going to do is put some of the cartoons on my blog. It shouldn't take you very long to work out when they were drawn. You will have guessed by now that I am not very au fait with the machinations of  my camera or my laptop, but I shall persevere and hope to get there in the end.As I said before, I never had any of my cartoons published, I was probably ahead of my time.

 

 

 

I think I would like to come back as a penis

Dr WHO ' DO YOU THINK YER LOOKIN IT YA GIT?

Peter Capaldi, the Glasgow born thespian was very recently unveiled as the newish Dr Who.
But, and I do mean but! did he not play the ambiguous Doctor for real in another time phase? I am not sure when I wrote this. There is a valve radio on the mantelpiece, the announcer is reciting the weather forecast for fishermen in the German Bight, Vera Lynne is singing in the background, "blue sky's over the white cliffs of Dover" fast forward ,the radio has disappeared and I am standing outside a police box in London road, Edinburgh, The police box is covered in Festival Fringe posters,Robin Ince, Assembly Rooms, 12.30pm  Twonkeys Blue Cadabra-Free cabaret. Bourke and No Hare, Bristo. bar & kitchen, and many more. The aquamarine sky is scudding past, leaving white clouds hurrying to catch up. Its very warm, so I divest  myself of my jacket and swing it over my shoulder.I'm perusing the posters when suddenly  a  blue door opens and a young lady beckons me inside.I enter,in front of me on the floor  there is, what looks like a train set,on closer inspection it turns out to be , not trains, but trams, correct in every detail,all the streets, buildings, tiny orange men working as hard as hard can be. Just then a city gent in a dark blue pinstriped suit enters stage left and in a Glesca accent says," Fringe Gits!' and kicks a section of the tram track, sending small pieces flying,he laughs,' that will set them back another month at least!" He wears a small mask,just enough to cover his eyes.I know who it is behind the mask but the scene is ambiguously ambivalent and by now,frightened out of my wits, I hurriedly exit the police box.The door closes behind me , I replace my cape and trudge off through the snow wondering if it all had been, the baddest of bad dreams

I have been asked next week where was the police box situated.
I replied two weeks ago," on London Road overlooking Nemo's World (exotic pets).

"We could've been contenders Charlie!"

FRACKING FOR SCOTLAND.

Had a letter published in the Scotsman today, 1st Aug 2013

LORDING IT OVER US. It has been reported that the Chancellor's father-in-law,Lord Howell, has advocated that fracking should be carried out in the "desolate" north-east of England (31 July)
By all accounts his words have caused an outpouring of justifiable rage, prompting criticism that the words he used highlight the Conservatives' "problem with the North.
Nothing new there. In 1904 a Noble lord ,a former agriculture and fisheries minister, wrote: "But keep the Scottish mountains for sport with noblest animals that Britain produces."
     This only goes to show how much esteem , then and now, we in the northern parts of Britain are held in by our Southern betters!

This add-on is from the 3rd.June 1913. House Of Commons. Oral Answers.
Midlothian County Council .
Major Hope, asked the Secretary for Scotland whether he has received a letter from the Midlothian County Council requesting that in future the title "county of Midlothian" may be used by all Government Departments in connection with all local government affairs pertaining to the county; and whether,especially as confusion in business has sometimes been caused by different Government Departments using the different names county of Midlothian and county of Edinburgh, he can see his way to grant this request of the local authority chiefly concerned?
Mr. McKinnon Wood: The answer to the first part of the question is in the affirmative. I shall be glad to communicate the wish of the county council to other Government Departments and so far as possible to give effect to it in the Scottish Office. I must, however, point out that in some cases the county is described as Edinburgh or Edinburghshire in Acts of Parliament, and in proceedings under those Acts it may be necessary to adhere to the statuary style.
Major Hope: Would it not be possible by any means to arrange that the county should be known entirely as the county of Midlothian?
Mr McKinnon Wood: It would be possible by amending the Act, but it is a question whether it is worth the expenditure and the time.
Fin.

THE ROYAL BIRTH BY THE UNOFFICIAL POET LAURIE FRASER

HOUSE OF COMMONS 12 JULY ORAL ANSWERS. POET LAUREATE.
MR LYNCH.asked the Prime Minister,whether,in view of the opinion widely held that the establishment of the office of Poet Laureate has been of advantage neither to the nation nor to literature, he will consider the advisability of abolishing that office?
The PRIME MINISTER,( Mr Asquith) The question is being considered in all its aspects.
Mr LYNCH  asked whether the Prime Minister can state the salary ,perquisites, and privileges appertaining to the office of Poet Laureate, and also the exact nature of the duties;whether the Poet Laureate is bound to produce a certain quality of verse per annum; and whether he will have printed as a White Paper the productions in verse of the Laureates for the last 150 years?
The PRIME MINISTER: The salary is now £70 a year with an allowance of £27 in lieu of  a butt of sack. I do not know that the duties of a Poet Lauriate are exactly defined .I am not prepared to accede to the request contained in the last part of the question. Most of the productions referred to can be obtained by those who desire to peruse them.
Mr SWIFT MacNEILL, Is the right hon. Gentleman aware that the position of Poet Laureate was established in substitution for the old, ancient, and time-honoured institution of the Kings jester, and that the salary is exactly that what was given the Kings jester? Will the right hon. Gentleman now re-establish the office of Kings jester?
The PRIME MINISTER, This time I think my Friends history is not quite right.
Mr CROFT; Will the right hon,. Gentleman consider the claim of the of the hon. Member for Donegal?
Mr JAMES HOPE . Has the Poet Laureate the option to claim a butt of sack or £27.
The PRIME MINISTER;That was commuted one hundred years ago.
Mr LYNCH; Is there not an intolerable deal of sack for a ha'porth of poetry?

You new life that's come
into the outside world
take your time, we
have a billion years
you will search
and search forlorn
but
always forward and
remember this
is'na jist a load of bollocks
it really is'na.

kenthepen,(fraser)(semimonkey)

NELSON @ TRAFALGAR.

There's a lot of it about!

Knowing that battle was imminent ,Nelson wrote his last letter to Emma. At 04.00 on 21Oct.1805 Nelson ordered a change of direction towards the enemy.At 06.00  he gave the order to 'Prepare for Battle ., at 11.48 he made the famous signal to his fleet , 27 ships of the line +6 others, "ENGLAND EXPECTS  THAT EVERY MAN WILL DO HIS DUTY". At around midday,off Cape Trafalgar, Nelson in HMS.Victory sailed with his squadron towards a single line of 33 French and Spanish ships. The noise of the battle soon became deafening, smoke filled the sky,punctuated by circles of fire. Nelson could see enemy sailors scurrying about and across their blood splattered decks. waving their fists and screaming. Nelson turned towards his own crew, they returned his gaze. HMS Victory fired her first broadside at the Bucentaure, the French Admirals Flagship. The noise reached a crescendo, but there was something not quite right, Nelson couldn't see any damage being inflicted upon the enemy ships., his own Victory was unscathed ? Captain Hardy, whats afoot? he shouted becoming more agitated by the second. Hardy said nothing but a smile played softly across his sunburnt face. Nelson paced up and down, slapping his hand against his chest, and then he noticed the French and Spanish sailors were doubled up with what looked like laughter , some were holding on to each other, he glanced at his own crew, they were the mirror image of the enemy, he turned to look at Hardy. Hardy had a great beaming smile on his face, he nodded towards the apple barrel that stood amidships . There was something glinting in the hole on its side,and then from the open top of the barrel a head appeared followed by the rest of its body , the arms clasped around a movie camera, laughter and cheers rang out , Nelson  smiled, the crew of the Victory cheered and hallood.The French and Spanish sailors echoed their counterparts.' This Day Would Go Down In History!'

SPHINCTOR AND WRONGA.

Jonny Sphinctor is a bet like Willy Wronga both of them fronts for money launderers .Jonny Sixtor goes hand in fin with the Selachii ,both of them trying to screw those with problems. What do you think the odds are that you, a one legged, blind,sixty nine year old transgender exfiancee of a liberal politician, just released from prison after serving a term of two years for taking the place of a checkout operator in a massage parlour in Edinburgh, would be offered a loan of £1,000 at reasonable rats. No problemo, my friend ,here you are,don't spend it all in the same bookies,spread it round a bit.
Who or what do you think I 'm speaking of ? Go on guess! 'Hilly Billy, he's a Lad and so is that bad lady called Coral!
You know there is help out there?  Perusing the Saturday edition of the 'I'  Britain's first and only concise QUALITY newspaper, 30p. I came across an article about Gaming sites by Neasa MacErlean, I quote the paragraph that may be of interest, 'But there is help out there. GamCare is the main resource centre ,and 60,000 people rang it last year. It also has an on line forum for people who prefer communicating with other gamblers rather than with counsellors .In November,the BigDeal site was launched by GamCare, aimed at teenagers. Bet Filter has also been recommended,its a web service that blocks access to gambling sites. Individuals can also "self-exclude"by asking their local casinos or betting shops to refuse them entry.

WATCH YOUR BACK FRASER THE LONE SHARK IS BEHIND YOU!(can you see the lone

shark? its actually to the rear and on Fraser's left hand side.