THE ROYAL BIRTH BY THE UNOFFICIAL POET LAURIE FRASER

HOUSE OF COMMONS 12 JULY ORAL ANSWERS. POET LAUREATE.
MR LYNCH.asked the Prime Minister,whether,in view of the opinion widely held that the establishment of the office of Poet Laureate has been of advantage neither to the nation nor to literature, he will consider the advisability of abolishing that office?
The PRIME MINISTER,( Mr Asquith) The question is being considered in all its aspects.
Mr LYNCH  asked whether the Prime Minister can state the salary ,perquisites, and privileges appertaining to the office of Poet Laureate, and also the exact nature of the duties;whether the Poet Laureate is bound to produce a certain quality of verse per annum; and whether he will have printed as a White Paper the productions in verse of the Laureates for the last 150 years?
The PRIME MINISTER: The salary is now £70 a year with an allowance of £27 in lieu of  a butt of sack. I do not know that the duties of a Poet Lauriate are exactly defined .I am not prepared to accede to the request contained in the last part of the question. Most of the productions referred to can be obtained by those who desire to peruse them.
Mr SWIFT MacNEILL, Is the right hon. Gentleman aware that the position of Poet Laureate was established in substitution for the old, ancient, and time-honoured institution of the Kings jester, and that the salary is exactly that what was given the Kings jester? Will the right hon. Gentleman now re-establish the office of Kings jester?
The PRIME MINISTER, This time I think my Friends history is not quite right.
Mr CROFT; Will the right hon,. Gentleman consider the claim of the of the hon. Member for Donegal?
Mr JAMES HOPE . Has the Poet Laureate the option to claim a butt of sack or £27.
The PRIME MINISTER;That was commuted one hundred years ago.
Mr LYNCH; Is there not an intolerable deal of sack for a ha'porth of poetry?

You new life that's come
into the outside world
take your time, we
have a billion years
you will search
and search forlorn
but
always forward and
remember this
is'na jist a load of bollocks
it really is'na.

kenthepen,(fraser)(semimonkey)

NELSON @ TRAFALGAR.

There's a lot of it about!

Knowing that battle was imminent ,Nelson wrote his last letter to Emma. At 04.00 on 21Oct.1805 Nelson ordered a change of direction towards the enemy.At 06.00  he gave the order to 'Prepare for Battle ., at 11.48 he made the famous signal to his fleet , 27 ships of the line +6 others, "ENGLAND EXPECTS  THAT EVERY MAN WILL DO HIS DUTY". At around midday,off Cape Trafalgar, Nelson in HMS.Victory sailed with his squadron towards a single line of 33 French and Spanish ships. The noise of the battle soon became deafening, smoke filled the sky,punctuated by circles of fire. Nelson could see enemy sailors scurrying about and across their blood splattered decks. waving their fists and screaming. Nelson turned towards his own crew, they returned his gaze. HMS Victory fired her first broadside at the Bucentaure, the French Admirals Flagship. The noise reached a crescendo, but there was something not quite right, Nelson couldn't see any damage being inflicted upon the enemy ships., his own Victory was unscathed ? Captain Hardy, whats afoot? he shouted becoming more agitated by the second. Hardy said nothing but a smile played softly across his sunburnt face. Nelson paced up and down, slapping his hand against his chest, and then he noticed the French and Spanish sailors were doubled up with what looked like laughter , some were holding on to each other, he glanced at his own crew, they were the mirror image of the enemy, he turned to look at Hardy. Hardy had a great beaming smile on his face, he nodded towards the apple barrel that stood amidships . There was something glinting in the hole on its side,and then from the open top of the barrel a head appeared followed by the rest of its body , the arms clasped around a movie camera, laughter and cheers rang out , Nelson  smiled, the crew of the Victory cheered and hallood.The French and Spanish sailors echoed their counterparts.' This Day Would Go Down In History!'

SPHINCTOR AND WRONGA.

Jonny Sphinctor is a bet like Willy Wronga both of them fronts for money launderers .Jonny Sixtor goes hand in fin with the Selachii ,both of them trying to screw those with problems. What do you think the odds are that you, a one legged, blind,sixty nine year old transgender exfiancee of a liberal politician, just released from prison after serving a term of two years for taking the place of a checkout operator in a massage parlour in Edinburgh, would be offered a loan of £1,000 at reasonable rats. No problemo, my friend ,here you are,don't spend it all in the same bookies,spread it round a bit.
Who or what do you think I 'm speaking of ? Go on guess! 'Hilly Billy, he's a Lad and so is that bad lady called Coral!
You know there is help out there?  Perusing the Saturday edition of the 'I'  Britain's first and only concise QUALITY newspaper, 30p. I came across an article about Gaming sites by Neasa MacErlean, I quote the paragraph that may be of interest, 'But there is help out there. GamCare is the main resource centre ,and 60,000 people rang it last year. It also has an on line forum for people who prefer communicating with other gamblers rather than with counsellors .In November,the BigDeal site was launched by GamCare, aimed at teenagers. Bet Filter has also been recommended,its a web service that blocks access to gambling sites. Individuals can also "self-exclude"by asking their local casinos or betting shops to refuse them entry.

WATCH YOUR BACK FRASER THE LONE SHARK IS BEHIND YOU!(can you see the lone

shark? its actually to the rear and on Fraser's left hand side.

LANDOWNERS AND GAMEKEEPERS

There are quite a few stories in the newspapers today regarding,' Gamekeepers expulsion from their Scottish based Society'. The society has expelled unidentified members in recent weeks , one for poaching, three others members were convicted of raptor persecution.  And so it goes on, no landowner has been charged,or named!. I ask you is this right? It never ends. On a previous post of mine regarding Scotland, and in particular, the Highlands, 100 years ago in the House of Commons a Lord was quoted as saying " Let us not grudge a share in supply of our wool and mutton to our Antipodean brethren but keep the Scottish mountains for sport with the noblest animals that Britain produces."end of quote.
Really, there's not a lot changed in a 100 years.It is still the rich who determine how the land resources of Scotland are used. It is my friends, you and I  who are to blame.After all these years we have done very little to right the wrongs inflicted upon us by some elements of the land owning classes .Invariably they are rich.They are rich enough to undermine our democratic processes by giving backhanders to poorly paid MP's.
 On 9April I wrote a letter which was published in the Scotsman newspaper ,it was regarding the "killing of a golden eagle which leads to concern for the species," The gist of my letter was the observation that it is landowners who are to blame for the killing of raptors. My letter reads as follows;
"We all know who does the killing and why they do it.Let us not beat about the bush, landowners who have vested interest in the extermination of eagles do not have to say anything to gamekeepers , gamekeepers do not have to converse with their employers. Nothing is said, there is no need for words. If golden eagles breed and bring forth more golden eagles, then without anything being said the gamekeeper will have lost his job.
The police do their best with limited resources to find and charge the culprits .
May I make a suggestion, where their are gamekeepers there are also poachers . Why do we not pay poachers to inform on gamekeepers and any gamekeeper who is apprehended and charged should stand in the dock along with his employer! Another take on the old saying, 'Poacher turned Gamekeeper.'

WRONGA! THE LONE SHARK!

BE CAREFUL FRAZER,WRONGA'S GOING TO GET YOU!

You will no doubt be familiar with a sequence of TV. adverts for a company called WRONGA, three elderly persons, each one a caricature of real life people. One of them taken after the wife of an advertising executive tasked with putting flesh on the bones of the three puppets. Another model is, to the people in the know, the partner of a member of the Board of Wronga. The third and last puppet, I have not got a clue. Someone knows but they are not telling! I wonder why.